There’s a gnaw. A tension that doesn’t let me be easy. Why have I suddenly become so stuck up?
It’s the work. Growing at a certain pace. Unlocking X amount of revenue every month. It’s the founder stress that has stayed in the background but is now louder.
It’s so hard to articulate it. I am no victim. I love what I do. I’m grateful for it.
But I can’t hide that it’s hard on many days. My work keeps pushing me to be brave, to do the difficult thing first. And that in itself is not easy.
How can I switch off from the responsibility of growth? Can I say this month will fix itself? Salaries and expenses don’t wait.
A startup is a daily reminder of how hard and how much effort it takes to earn money. That to never take income and growth for granted.
I think I’m unable to manage this phase well. The zen version of me is crumbling.
And the first step to change is to recognise it and make peace with it.